I watched Emilia Pérez and still wonder: why is it a musical?

I watched Emilia Pérez and spent a long time wondering: did I actually like it? (SPOILERS AHEAD—if you haven’t seen it yet, stop reading!)

First off, can we finally ban trailers that give away the entire plot? And while we’re at it, maybe also reviews and podcasts? It’s getting increasingly difficult to form an unbiased opinion when drowning in content about content (like this very text). So, I was already prepared for the fact that “patients” would be singing about domestic violence while rolling around in wheelchairs, melodically chanting "vaginoplasty." I had read everything.

Secondly, yes, the film is controversial—but perhaps even more controversial is the attention it’s receiving from the Oscars. When will people stop getting offended by absolutely everything?

Why couldn’t she get the surgery in the U.S.? Why did she have to travel halfway across the world and end up in a clinic in Tel Aviv? Why were doctors refusing to operate? Are there really clinics that specialize in gender-affirming procedures but still decline to perform them, even for money? Also, why did Emilia’s gender-affirming surgery come with a free set of dental veneers, replacing her gold teeth with bright white ones? Maybe that’s why, in the second half of the film, the lawyer (played by Zoe Saldaña) doesn’t recognize the protagonist.

And then, the doctor who performed the surgery turns out to be right—there’s no escaping yourself. Even after founding an NGO and buying the kids a ski simulator, Emilia continues solving problems the same way her cousin did. I’m convinced that if that incident hadn’t happened, we’d be seeing fresh bodies wrapped in plastic.

Of course, there are many questions to ask, but at the very least, it wasn’t boring—if that’s even an acceptable way to assess cultural products these days. Honestly, it’s refreshing to see something that actually generates discussion for longer than three minutes. The pacing was tight—no room for your thoughts to wander—and that alone is a rare feat. “Too listen us to accept,” the protagonist sings, and for some reason, we all agreed to listen to Spanish for two hours.

And on that note—WHY is this a musical? And why do they suddenly start singing? The songs and dance numbers really do break the flow of the film, though by that point, you’ve already accepted the movie on its own terms.

I suspect old tweets might get in the way of Oscar chances. Then again, Hollywood loves a plot twist. Maybe just take away actors’ access to social media for safety.

P.S. Saint Laurent is once again supporting the film industry, so of course, the first thing the lawyer buys with their cartel money is—you guessed it—YSL heels.